Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Where Does the Good Go? By Karen Pilarski


Girls are made of sugar and spice all that’s nice.

That rhyme is outdated as is a 1970's powder blue ruffle tux. As adults we follow a moral code that was instilled within us since we could talk. Our parents ingrained in us to say please and thank you and treat others how we want to be treated. To be considered well behaved, a female had to be 'a good girl.’

What exactly does it mean to be good? How does all sugar and spice benefit us good girls trying to find our way?

The last time I watched Dr. Oz, a diet of pure sugar wasn't a healthy choice.
Good girls in media are portrayed as sweet, timid and mousy. I suppose to some degree that is accurate.

The good girl always falls for the bad boy or someone unreachable. She is tossed aside for someone popular or outspoken.

She tends to hide her fiery fury under colorful cardigans and glasses.

There are underhanded conceited remarks and rude faces. Intermixed is a boss or relative who can’t see her true potential.

Through the formula of the universal chick flick, ms. virtuous starts to slowly transition.

The good girl becomes sexier, assertive and damn ballsy.


The one who got away soon realizes he was a fool. He should have took a second glance but it is too late. By the roll of the credits she has made nice with a good guy.

There are other scenarios include the bad boy transforming into a good guy.
Being a good doesn’t mean dreams are limited. It is with hard work and determination that makes the unattainable happen.

In order to get anywhere in life there needs to be a balance of the good and bad to make dreams become limitless.
My stepdaughter Mia is a good girl. She is similar to me in that we are both sensitive and compassionate. She often will not stand up for herself. I feel partly to blame as I hammered into her head she needs be polite and not sass.

I can learn a lot from her. While good on the outside, she has a bit of badness in her. She can be tricky and a schemer.

When Mia is conniving I say she is trying to ‘Mega Mia” me. This means to not be outwardly obvious about want she craves. She is a gardener and plants little droplets of thoughts into the pot. 


One time at a busy mall I made a comment that we needed to get home so I can make dinner. Mega Mia said “You know Karen, there are restaurants here if you don’t feel like cooking.”

Nonchalant and causal.

It is an attitude that I admire and makes her in a good position to take over the world one day (or face off in a battle with her brothers).
While Mia is still in an “aw that is cute” stage, I have to wonder where does the good go over time? Especially as we age from pixie haired little one to accomplished female? 

While it is noble to be the good girl, it is a title that I don't care to carry under my name. 


The assertive personality doesn't daintily knock on opportunity's door. The bitch forces her way in.

Lets think in terms of a smart cocktail since I'm writing this after 5pm. Too sweet causes an upset stomach and a bitter drink is hard to swallow. I think there needs to be a pinch of bitch. 

The drink is spice and spite with an aftertaste that bites. The sweetness is a syrupy concoction that makes the drink smooth and refreshing.

While I would like to think I'm all sugar and spice, I know there is a pinch of bitch scorching my throat red ready to erupt when needed. Isn't that nice?