Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Tattered Diploma

My college diploma sits on my computer desk. Collecting dust. I should clean it off and frame it. It just stays trapped in that tattered brown holder and protected by the plastic sheet. I feel like my diploma. Sometimes people pass it day after day and not acknowledge it exists (meaning that I have a degree). I worked so hard for my Bachelors degree and it is painful that it sits around unused. Pretty soon I can add a Master's degree diploma.

Every day I click on the keyboard and do data entry. I know I'm lucky to have a job in this economy. However there is a flip side.  Like like diploma covered by the  plastic protective sheet, I hid behind my secretary job. Back in 2006 I had big dreams of making it big as a writer. I used to daydream of moving to New York City and working as a reporter. Yes, a very Sex & the City vision. All I needed was some killer shoes and some smoking hot clothes. I'm not saying everything was a waste. I'm married to a sweet man and have two amazing kids. My husband supports my goals and pushes me. I have some wonderful friends who really encourage me. What happened to that girl who was ambitious and went for what she wanted?

Although I can't go back to 2006, I can get back that burst of ambition. I can stop being a doormat and essentially a pee on. I really can't blame people for making me feel this way. I need to figure out what I want and go for it. Not just say it, but mean it, do it and live it. Otherwise I'll stay 'protected' by a tattered holder with a fake shine off the plastic. It is my turn to finally shine.