A writer friend was kind enough to do a guest post for me. Her message is very strong. Don't think time is on your side to make amends. Friendships are important and so is time.
Please follow her at
My sister’s best friend growing up had a younger sister closer to my age but still too much older to be friends with. I remember one evening she babysat me while my parents attended my grandmother’s funeral. Denise laid on my fathers bed, clicking through the cable channels at speeds I only ever dreamed of doing myself. I hopped off the bed and told her I had to go to the bathroom. I was six then.
“Do you need to make cocky?” she asked.
“Umm...” I wasn’t allowed to use that word. I hesitated but then realized there were no adults around. “YES!” I said happily. “ I NEED TO MAKE COCKY!” Thrilled, I skipped on into the bathroom to do my business. It was then I knew I liked this chick. Anyone who let me say cocky was OK in my book.
Time eats away at us, bite by bite, until one day you wake up and you’re a different person in a different world in a different time. There I was, married and pregnant and scouring Facebook on a Friday night when who popped up on my screen but Denise. We connected immediately and became instant good friends, as if no time had passed.
We talked nearly every day and I had the pleasure of meeting her three beautiful daughters, one more gorgeous than the next. I was so thankful to find this person who took care of me as a child just as I was about to bring my own into the world.
When I finally (40 weeks and 2 days but who’s counting) delivered my son, he was taken directly to NICU. I wasn’t allowed to see him for 24 hours due to us both having severely high fevers. I was beyond devastated. They placed me in a room near the regular baby nursery so all night all I heard were newborns crying, mothers gleefully cooing with their babies and the constant beeping sound of the IV drip attached to my arm.
Denise text messaged me the next morning asking so many questions I wasn’t prepared to answer. It wasn’t her fault. She just wanted to know what was going on. I was so emotionally drained and overwhelmed, all I could do was ask her to not ask any questions. We exchanged some words and decided it was better that we not be friends anymore. It was a petty fight during a very traumatic time and I regret every second of it. That was almost three years ago.
Every few months, I would take a peek at her Facebook page and debate on whether to message her to apologize and explain how upset I was but I never did. I’m not sure why but something always stopped me.
This past weekend, I did the same. I looked through her page and was just about to write her a message when I didn’t. I said to myself, “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
The following day I received a message from my sister. Denise had passed away the day before. Her health had been declining and her body just gave up.
I can’t say that I never had the chance to mend ways with Denise because I did, several times. Everyday, in fact, for the last three years.
I always snicker at the saying “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” but I won’t ever again. There may not be a tomorrow.