Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Power of No By: Karen Pilarski


Rejection is hard pill to swallow. The impact of the hit damages the ego and turns once thick skin into thin. The word 'no' sounds unpleasant on the ear drums to anyone having to hear it. I have heard that since I could comprehend words. It doesn't matter the tone of the word, the simple truth is it is restricting the desired path I wanted to move towards. Many times it is for a youngster's own good to be warned of something dangerous. As adults it flashes the mind back to being a toddler running around with a sharp object.

My (step) son seems to thrive on hearing no. I admire his ambition and creativity to turn no into yes. Although I disapprove of lying and cheating, he seems to attempt it with style. At fifteen he is full of emotions and wanting to be an independent person. In the past he would back talk and get himself grounded for the rotten egged type attitude. Now a light switch has been turned on. For example, he was told he couldn't have a cell phone unless he paid for his own minutes. His younger sister was given a phone without the same rules. Being the extremely clever young man he is, he found a way of turning no into yes. He had a school friend who was a bit spoiled and had all the newest technology gadgets. His friend unloaded a MP3 player on him. He uses the free wi-fi at restaurants and around the city. He is able to use it to text and go on the internet.

I wish I could use similar tactics but unfortunately fifteen passed me by a million years ago. I can learn to find alternate ways to get what I want. The recent movie 'Monster's University' is an example of this. If anyone hasn't watched this adorable movie yet, you may not wish to read further. In the movie the main characters from the first movie go to college and be the top scare champions and get into Monster's Inc. However ego and jealousy got in the way and both Sully and Mike were expelled from Monster's University. It was a firm no and a rough rejection to get past. As the credits rolled the viewer sees that Sully and Mike worked their way up the ladder. Although education is very important, they found another way to get past the 'no.'There is not one clear path to success and if creativity and determination is used anything is possible.

In my thirties being told no for a job or anything is devastating. I try to take the rationale for the answer into consideration when thinking about my next move. What almost worked in my favor, what was overkill? This helps me to develop new strategies and plans to turn no into a yes. Lawyers and people in sales do this everyday. If those individuals can be successful why can't the average Joe/Joanne?