The fireworks in Bay View are always held at the lakefront but residents could see the show from the local park. I was always stuck on a blanket with my sisters and brothers. It was the mid 90's and before Facebook, Twitter and fancy cell phones. We would beg my mom to buy us a snow cone or a big pretzel. Spoiler alert, the answer was always no. I thought when I started to date that my boyfriend would buy me a snow cone and watch the fireworks with me. Little did I know my younger brothers would be joining me on my date. On top of that my younger siblings would harass my date to buy them a snow cone. Lack of privacy and hearing snotty kids whining didn't spell out a romantic blanket affair.
Even when I was old enough to date without a tag along, a crush seemed more passionate than a so so date. The so so date was like the firecracker shooting towards the sky but turning out to be a dud. There is something about anticipating seeing the one that makes the heart beat fast. Imaging what would be said and what would occur. The butterflies in the stomach when it is thought the crush was spotted.
If only I could bottle up that delectable feeling and spritz it around when scent of melancholy befalls. A crush can go on for awhile without a hint of revealing it. That is best aspect of a crush is that it is forbidden and undetected. I have had many crushes that never amounted to anything. I wonder if it was the sense of control that I found liberating. I chose if I made my move and revealed my affection. Crushes can fade as quickly as smoke once it clears after the grand finale. Although it may be smothered there is still a hint of smoke that remains imprinted in the sky.
I no longer live in Bay View. My 4th of July's are now spent with my in laws or watching it televised on a local news station. Once in awhile I have a pang of nostalgia that washes over me. I secretly miss being a young lady on a blanket in the park with a snow cone melting in one hand. A nervous arm stretched around me while the show starts. Suddenly a trembling kiss moistens my lips as sounds of cracking and popping comes from behind the clouds.