Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I hate Cupid by: Karen Pilarski

Red cellophane hearts stacked on shelves. Children pressing buttons on those furry stuffed animals that sing off key tunes. Red Hots spilled on the floor. Chocolate and cartoon kid cards litter the store. It is Valentine’s Day. The single person’s dreaded time of the year. If you the reader are single, I’ll let you in on a secret.  People in relationships hate this day too. 

Where is the actual courting? If the relationship is a few years old most people wait until the day before or morning of to get last minute Valentine’s Day gifts. I know someone who thinks the day was created from card industry and he would be ‘fake’ if he bought into it. However, let me point out when he was married to his first wife and even before that he seemed to buy into it. There is a story of finding a crystal rose he bought for an old girlfriend.  While I love romance and lovely gestures, I don’t want to make someone do something they don’t want to do. 

Despite the lack of gifts, where is the actual romance? Is it enough to take someone out to eat or to a movie? Then what? A few winks and drinks and then it is time to hit the sheets.

It would be simpler to eliminate the notion that romance has to be forced.  I would prefer someone to hide treats in my desk or write a message on a foggy mirror. There doesn’t have to be some gallant answer that involves a huge diamond and flower strewn paths. 

The daydreams and fantasies that are built up in our heads never live up to the hype.  The cute waitress might actually be a chain smoking crazy cat lady. The nerdy and bald guy you are crushing on may have a gambling addiction and a weird infection.  For some single people anything is better than nothing at all. To be frank, married and couples share the same belief.  

While I am married, I loathe Valentine’s Day. The card never really says how you feel. The chocolate gives you a stomach ache.  The card I would like to get says the following:

Dear hon,
You look sexy and thin in everything you wear. I’d rather watch the ‘Carrie Diaries’ than some dumb game. I cleaned the whole house and made you a candle light dinner. Low cal of course.
P.S. I told my mother she is not allowed over until next year.
With all my heart and soul,

 So singles lets unite with married people and whip conversation hearts at those kissy faced jerks in the wooing stage of romance.