When asked what topic she wanted for the post she quickly replied with, “What life is like being single during the holiday season?” and I know a thing or two about this topic (unfortunately or fortunately).
In a perfect world I would love to have a kickass companion,
boyfriend, mate, or husband along with a perfectly trained dog to spend the
holidays with (aren’t they the same? No? Oh).
In this ideal world, I envision a
magnificently prepared turkey with all of its delicious accompaniments (and no
calories), fantastically decorated tree and/or a beautifully lit menorah,
frolicking in the snow and smooching under the mistletoe, and someone perfect
to plant a huge kiss on at the stroke of midnight welcoming in 2014.
But, let’s
be honest. Who really has that? Isn’t the grass always greener?
The holidays (all of them) bring so much pressure to find
the perfect gift that it becomes another job to people.
For example, yesterday
I was pushed out of the way to buy a new microwave at Best Buy. People are
frantically rushing around like rabid squirrels trying to get the newest, best
and biggest nut for their loved ones.
No thank you!
I did not even wait for the
salesgirl to roll the mic out of the door because she would rather be anywhere
else than working during the holiday season.
I could tell this because of the 8
bites of cake I saw her shove in her face while impeding her sticky fingers
from ringing me up at the register. Transaction complete. So, I did what any
independent/annoyed person would do. I bent down like a weight lifter (from the
waist), grabbed the appliance and ran out of there to get home and away from
all the madness on the road.
I can do this because I don’t HAVE to get a
significant other a present because I am single. Joy to the world. And, I don’t
have to pretend to like a present from my significant other that I secretly
hate and will re-gift to my #1 frienemy for her birthday next year.
In addition to the quest for the perfect gift (that your mate will end up storing on a shelf somewhere in their garage or wear to the company holiday ugly sweater party) there is the pressure of creating a perfect date night, dinner, trip or whatever grandiose idea you think you SHOULD do to celebrate the holidays. The lines are long, service is horrific, drinks are watered down and the food always sucks.
Being single is great because I don’t have to wear nylons, heels, or makeup and I can eat whenever and however much of what I want without worrying about spilling or losing the curl in my hair or the gloss on my lips.
Also, I don’t have to worry about getting a ride home and I actually get to see the ball drop at midnight because there is no one else watching TV in my house besides my dog, Teddy Brewski.
But, the best part of being single on the holidays is
kissing someone new (or more than one if you are lucky) each year when the ball
drops and clock strikes 12:00. So, cheer up my single comrades. Also, Mom
always said you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince…..so,
don’t argue with her because she knows best.
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