Think Bacon By: Karen Pilarski

Wisconsin is known for dairy and beer. It is also a well known fact that at the Wisconsin State Fair offers creative uses for bacon. The fair has had chocolate covered bacon on a doughnut sandwich.  I've never been a lover of fatty cured strips of meat. None the less people in my neck of the woods love crispy pieces of greasy heaven. My wonderful friends *Alicia and *Cathy are addicted to the breakfast staple. Alicia was having an icky type of today and I tried to cheer her up. Without thinking I blurted out "think bacon." She laughed as if I was joking. I was dead serious.

There is a saying that goes "bring home the bacon." Translated, it means bringing in the money. The money is the good bacon. When I'm mad at the world and just want to quit everything I think bacon. I need the bacon to pay rent, bills, food and the piece of crap van I'm still paying off. Not to mention student loans, clothes, and insurance. Lately it seems the bacon dwindles down as soon as it is brought in. Especially since the government seems to keep much of the bacon I make.

As any bad day survivor can attest it would be simple to tell someone off. Let the words fly out with a spray of spit to seal the deal. Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality. At least in my head I wouldn't lose a job or relationship. Most of all I wouldn't have the anxious walking on egg shells feeling when around the person I yelled at. I'll save the sweet revenge scenarios for dreaming.

Think bacon when assessing a situation or person. There are individuals who just scream 'bad bacon'. Bad bacon personalities are the ones that are salty and cause high blood pressure. Bacon often leaves a greasy slick spot on a napkin or plate. Negative/jerky people leave their own slimy stain on the day. The nastiness can clog up a once good day and make it unbearable.

 How can eating the fat be avoided? Just cut the grossness away. My friends who are bacon addicts might recoil from this suggestion. If the fat is not minded than another option is to limit the bad bacon intake. I was advised that I should limit contact with several strips of bad bacon in my own life. I have been happier and the blood pressure has decreased. Be pleasant and kind to rude personalities. Nothing irks a crummy person more when the higher road is taken.

That doesn't mean there is a need to consume the artery thickening words fed. Often I am the bigger person. Many people may have family that is not tolerated well. The thought of them is similar to tofu to meat enthusiasts. For my Wisconsin peeps, light beer. Blah! Yucky individuals who are not interacted with on a professional basis but still have to have contact. It is perfectly fine to cut off that type of fat if it is bad. It doesn't make me or anyone else immature, just realistic. Frankly my cholesterol and blood pressure levels are high enough.

For my own sanity I choose to not consume that type of bacon anymore. I hope my clever antidote doesn't ruin anyone's plans for the upcoming fair or breakfast. Just remember when the day is miserable to think bacon.