"Y" By: Karen Pilarski

Of all the words in our world the one with the biggest effect is 'why'. The smallest words are often heavy with meaning.

Such a short word but causes the most conflict and uneasiness. I've been inquiring 'why' frequently over the past year. My moods go up in down like a bumpy ride, my trip is traced along the 'w' in 'why'.

Reflecting back on the Sandy Hook shooting my brain is overwhelmed with all the anger and pain of those little ones being taken from their families. My heart aches for children being abused or molested.  

Why do adults hurt children? 

How was I to fathom a mere six months later the same thing would be asked again? Only this time it struck closer to home.

When bad things happen there is more questions than answers beyond reach high above the 'h' in 'Why'. From my own experience the ones in the wrong simply pull excuses out of a hat and present it as fact.

If the contents of my head could be revealed it would show question marks and exclamation points. 

At the root of the term is the connection to the person saying it.

What it comes down to is the urge to know the reason something happened. If the term 'why' is spelled out phonetically, there is an emphasis on on the 'y' that sounds like 'I.' We want to know because it helps us to cope with emotionally exhausting ordeals. 

I want to know why.

I tend to say I don't know when asked why. I'm not indifferent nor insensitive to the person requesting information. 

With all my heart I want to understand what goes through people's heads and why choices are made. That is their cross to bear.

I'm not sure which is more troubling, the not knowing or the burden of knowing why. The trauma of both outcomes lingers and hangs there like the 'y' at the end.